Nobody Likes You

You're ugly.

And your mommy dresses you funny.

Now smile ya fuckin' douche.

I was thinking the other week about behavioral psychology [specifically this talk] and how much my life sucked. "I'm 21, a civil-environmental engineering student at a high-rated school, I've got Satellite TV, high-speed broadband (to be used with my high-performance gaming rig and tablet pc, as well as my recently acquired G1) all in my own bedroom in a downtown apartment that's waaaay too nice for someone like me to be living in, I'm in good health, decently good looking (as made apparent by my beautiful and loving girlfriend) and I have a swarth of marketable skills and talents, I'm capable, smart, and dagnabbit, people like me."


...so waitaminute. Why am I saying this sucks? My life is awesome.

So I stopped and asked "well, what's the deal self?"

to which myself replied "Well, maybe if you weren't such a mopey prick all the time you'd stop, count your toes, and realize that you're actually pretty happy."

"Hmmm, good point self. But what do you mean 'count your toes?"

"That's just an expression I thought of for this experiment. It's like the athiest's version of 'count your blessings.' If you can count your toes, it means - that for one, you can see them so you're not morbidly obese, AND you're not blind (despite your parent's warnings of what that adolescent hobby of yours would do) and that you have some kind of home in which you can take off your shoes and look down - or even better that you live in a tropical or sub-saharan climate and don't need to wear shoes. If you can count them it means you're at least partially intelligent, and if there's still 10 of them it's just a little bit of a cherry on top."

"That's awefully clever of you, self."

"Still keeping up with that hobby I see."

"Oh, screw you."

"Exactly."

And with those closing words to my inner sociopath I decided to preform an experiment. I would spend a month smiling, and see if it changed my overall attitude towards life, the universe, and everything. I promptly spent three days smiling then overslept one day, forgot about the whole thing, and went back to being sour until I found a scrap of paper and remembered my experiment and the post I was going to make about it.

So Dear Readers, I level my challenge thusly. Mark today as the beginning of your own month of smiling. Put a note on your door or TV or something [it helps to set reminders, especially if you see them after your morning coffee] and we'll meet back here in a month and discuss any effects we've noticed.

Ready.

Set.

GO!

(No, you can not take singles awareness day off)