Gimme a Carton of Low Birthweights

The FDA has announced that they are going to require visual imagery on cigarette packaging to represent the dangers of smoking.  The thought is that putting graphic images on the packaging will further dissuade people from wanting to buy the product.  I'm immediately reminded of late Bill Hicks' priceless rant on smoking, particularly about the warning labels.

You can imagine how thrilled I was...any smoker would be...to find out there's a different warning on each pack.   Mine say "Warning!  Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth."

Fuck it.  Found my brand.  Just don't get the ones that say lung cancer, you know, shop around!

It seems to me the FDA just made it that much easier for smokers to find their brand.  Hell, it's going to be even easier now for cigarette companies to market to kids with this.  You don't even have to be able to read anymore to be able to pick the packs that suit you best.  I'll bet these even become collectors items, a la the garbage pail kids.  Let's take a look at which ones might suit your kids the best.

THE PUPPET SHOW

What child doesn't love a good puppet show?  Look kids, if you like puppets, you'll love these cigarettes!  Sure they're addictive, but in a fun, Sesame Street kind of way!

THEY SEEZ ME ROLLIN' THEY HATIN'

This looks vaguely familiar...oh yeah!  Your baby, too, can be this bad-ass...

THE CHALLENGE

A friend of mine has a boxed picture frame that is meant to be filled with used wine corks.  Any takers on the challenge?

BE THE KING OF THE GODS

What better way to encourage kids learn about Zeus and other Greek mythology than to give them lightning bolts to carry around with them everywhere they go?

BLOWING BUBBLES

Kids love bubbles!